I thought for a long while about what I would like to write, and finally I decided to write about my thoughts on love.
Living in our modern times it is easier than ever to meet and communicate with new people, why then do we still so often despair at the prospect of finding a romantic partner? Maybe it’s because although our number of relationships has grown larger they have not grown deeper in meaning, perhaps they’ve even grown more shallow instead.
To use a metaphor, sometimes if feels like more and more relationships seem like a river while the ideal relationship is more like the ocean. But what exactly does that mean and what does it tell us about ourselves?
A river is long, but it is also shallow, so these kinds of relationships are ones in which two people might know each other for a long time but not understand one and other particularly deeply. Advertisements are constantly promising us that as long as we get the latest product, buy into the latest fad, happiness can be ours. Is it any wonder then that oftentimes the first thing a person will look for is the instant gratification of temporary comfort and temporary happiness? In regards to friendships and relationships both, importance seems to be placed more on how many a person is able to have, and not on those relationships’ quality.
A love that’s like the ocean then?
It implies that the compassion and understanding for your partner is deep and consistent like the ocean. But sometimes it can feel like the more you understand someone, the more easily you can understand their faults and shortcomings.
Archimedes once said, “Give me a lever large enough and I can lift the world.” This kind of thinking is all well and good when it comes to physics, but it falls apart when applied to romance.
For example, when looking for romance one of the first things many people will think of is their requirements in a perfect partner. Like Archimedes they have boiled down the complex problem of human compatibility to a simple check list to be checked off. Unfortunately, I feel that if you approach relationships with this attitude you are more than likely only going to find disappointment.
The most advantageous things to have in a relationship are not high standards and expectations, but rather patience and understanding. Through the process of getting to know someone you will inevitably grow to understand both their strengths and weaknesses.
To me the best kind of partner is one that will celebrate your good qualities while being tolerant of your short comings as they support you on life’s never-ending journey of self-improvement and discovery.
Or maybe the secret to happiness is ignore romance and get a dog or a cat. Who really knows anyway?
Max.N
3 l NOV
SHANGHAI 25℃
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